Mauled at the Mall of America

Sunday, Sept 5, 2021 

Today we took our courage in hand and went to see the Mall of America. I'd always wanted to see it, whereas Joe hates malls with a passion. Also, he hates crowds. But he encouraged going, on the theory that it was a unique experience. 

We had actually spent the entire morning in the RV, just hanging around doing chores and relaxing. So it was after lunch when we headed for Bloomington and the Mall. We were already amazed before we got into it-- the parking deck had digital signs to say how many empty parking spaces were on each floor (of 7). Even cooler were the lights which stretched down the center of each parking row-- anywhere that there was an empty space had a green light. (I have since learned that lots of large parking decks use this technology, but we hadn't seen it before.) 

We were parked fairly close to a Mall entrance, and as soon as we walked in, the Amusement Park was visible straight ahead. We walked to the edge and stared in amazement at three roller coasters, other thrill rides, and kiddie rides down below. I'd heard there was an amusement park, but it's quite another thing to see it, surrounded by stores such as Macy's and Nordstrom. 

Since we had absolutely no agenda, we had decided to look for the Lego store, which has giant Lego creations up on its roof (which was the 2nd floor of the mall.) We had no idea where it was, so I played around with the electronic mall guidance system-- I put in the store I wanted, and the electronic guidance first told me which floor and quadrant of the mall it was in, and then showed me on diagrams how to get there. I memorized "walk toward Macy's, go downstairs, turn the corner at Macy's, and Lego is in the middle of the corridor on the left." Slowly we found our way there.

The Mall was crowded, but not nearly as bad as the State Fair had been, and at least half the people seemed to be wearing masks, so it was possible to mostly maintain our distance from others. We admired the Legos, then kept walking until we came to the Aquarium. We could see down into the lobby there, where there were tanks of rays and other touch-tanks for kids. The price for the Aquarium was pretty high, though, so we decided to pass on it.

Meanwhile, I decided I was thirsty. There were lots of places to get food, drinks, candy, ice cream, cinnamon buns, cupcakes, and all the other stuff they sell in malls. But when I saw a Dunkin Donuts, I decided that an iced coffee would satisfy both my thirst and my sweet tooth. So I used my Dunkin app to order, and watched through the window until the screen said that my number had been served. (I would have had to wait in a line if I hadn't used the app.) I walked in and took my coffee and left, thus bypassing the people in the small store. We sat on a bench facing the center "courtyard" and watched the people and the amusement park rides for a while as I drank my coffee.

In the end, this pretty much summed up our Mall visit. We did buy a couple of things-- Joe got some sugar-free candy, and I fell prey to the Lindt store, where the display of Lindor truffles just could not be ignored. (I told the salesgirl, "I want to dive into your display and swim through it with my mouth open!" They were pushing boxes with 100 truffles--fill it myself with any of their flavors, many of which I had not been familiar with before. But conscious of my attempt to lose weight, in the end I bought only about a dozen Lindor balls to take home. I also picked up some face cream which I needed, and stopped on a whim at the Vera Bradley store, where they happened to have my favorite style wallet at 40% off. Since the one I have is threadbare, I decided I could splurge on a new one at that price.
And that was it! We left the Mall when Joe decided he'd had enough. I could have shopped a few stores having Labor Day and End of Season sales, but truth is, not only do I not need a thing, but my RV is already full of too many clothes that I overpacked.

 So: the Mall of America is quite an astonishing testimony to American consumerism, mindless entertainment, and junk food. But it was certainly worth seeing at least once.

The Biggest State Fair

Saturday, Sept 4 Today we decided to go to the Minnesota State Fair, billed as the largest State Fair in the country. I had never been to a State Fair, only the MIddlesex County Fair. I figured it was a lot of animals, rides, food, and booths of various kinds. And that's exactly what it was. But GINORMOUS!

Mother Earth Scarecrow

 

 

 We drove into the city and found (after one wrong try) the parking deck where the shuttle was leaving from to take people to the fair. The numbers of people who show up is so huge that there's no way to have enough parking at the fairgrounds, so there are a half-dozen places around Minneapolis where you can do the park-and-ride thing. Parking was free, but the bus cost $6/pp . This was only the beginning of the insistent drain on our finances to attend this extravaganza, but it was worth it--it made it very easy to park and get to the fair.

We bought tickets and went inside, and were immediately overwhelmed. There were thousands of people there already. BTW, there were signs about wearing masks indoors and when "in crowds" outside, but there were very few masks outdoors. (The bus required them, so at least everyone was masked there.) Anyway, I had no idea where to go first, so we went to the information desk and I asked for suggestions. They explined where the 6 sound stages were, where the animal barns were, the agriculture buildings, the craft buildings, etc. Then they gave me the brochure specific to that day, which listed EVERYTHING that was happening.

Joey and I wandered off, deciding that we needed a drink first. We just strolled down one of the streets-- it was non-stop food options, including unusual stuff like deep fried olives ("Olive you SOOO much!"), alligator, and I forget what-all else. It was a food extravaganza, and so much that we couldn't even THINK about what we wanted, because we were sure that the next booth would sound even better. So we got some coke and some water and kept walking. After about 30 minutes, I said, "We just have to DECIDE." I was looking for something maybe a little bit healthier, but not coming up with much. So in the end, we got a plate of ribboned potatoes (which was like instantly made potato chips) served like nachos, with a choice of toppings. We got sriracha chicken, but ruined the healthy aspect by getting melted cheese and sour cream on top. Then we found a set on a bench someplace and ate, while crowds of people walked past us.

After that, we kept walking. We found the agriculture building, which we really thought was interesting. There was a section on bees and honey, which had not just beehives, but all the categories of fair entries which "went with" bees and honey: baking with honey (categories for bread, cookies, pie, etc), crafts which featured bees or honey, etc. The next section had seeds. Yes, they judge SEEDS at the Minnesota State Fair. We looked at boxes full of seeds, and walls of corn on the cob, some of which had won ribbons (they all looked precisely the same to me; it seems the seeds were also judged on germination, which of course we did NOT see.) And then, crafts made with seeds (like pictures using different colored seeds to create a picture). There was a section on plants/flowers, one on farm machinery, it just went on and on. I loved the creative scarecrows we saw--those were the best!

Scarecrow Line-up and Vintage Seed Sacks

 

Then we found the animals. We went inside an almost empty arena and watched the bulls being judged. The woman describing them was so funny--she described their "conformation" and said things like how she liked seeing their musculature, and "this one has the masculinity I like to see in a bull." Joey says to me, "She's talking about his penis!" LOLOL! I have no idea how one bull looks more "masculine" than another! Then we went to the horse barn, which was more crowded. But we saw some pretty horses (no judging going on that we could find.) We skipped the goats and sheep--we'd had enough animals by that time. I also walked through the international bazaar while Joey people-watched, and we ate a little more-- we got a sausage sampler plate (Polish, anduille, and Italian--all hand made) and i got a bowl of sweet corn ice cream! (It was very good.) 

All in all, we were very good about not eating too much. We did not go on any rides. We just walked around being amazed at the sheer size of it all, and somehow we missed the crafts building, which I would have liked to see (thinks like quilting and painting). 

Overall, it was just a mob scene. I don't remember when I saw that many people in one place BEFORE the pandemic. I think it must have been because it was the last weekend of the fair, was Labor Day weekend, and was Saturday. But in any case, it was crazy. And NOISY. When we first got there around 1pm, we could get food without standing in line. But by the time we left at 5:00 or so, there were lines for everything. Joey was exhausted, though, so we called it day, trudged back to our bus stop, and took the shuttle bus back to the parking deck, and then drove another 20 minutes to get back to the RV. It was a long day, but we really liked it! A lot of fun just experiencing the energy and watching everyone else have a great time too. We were very glad we

went.