Mauled at the Mall of America

Sunday, Sept 5, 2021 

Today we took our courage in hand and went to see the Mall of America. I'd always wanted to see it, whereas Joe hates malls with a passion. Also, he hates crowds. But he encouraged going, on the theory that it was a unique experience. 

We had actually spent the entire morning in the RV, just hanging around doing chores and relaxing. So it was after lunch when we headed for Bloomington and the Mall. We were already amazed before we got into it-- the parking deck had digital signs to say how many empty parking spaces were on each floor (of 7). Even cooler were the lights which stretched down the center of each parking row-- anywhere that there was an empty space had a green light. (I have since learned that lots of large parking decks use this technology, but we hadn't seen it before.) 

We were parked fairly close to a Mall entrance, and as soon as we walked in, the Amusement Park was visible straight ahead. We walked to the edge and stared in amazement at three roller coasters, other thrill rides, and kiddie rides down below. I'd heard there was an amusement park, but it's quite another thing to see it, surrounded by stores such as Macy's and Nordstrom. 

Since we had absolutely no agenda, we had decided to look for the Lego store, which has giant Lego creations up on its roof (which was the 2nd floor of the mall.) We had no idea where it was, so I played around with the electronic mall guidance system-- I put in the store I wanted, and the electronic guidance first told me which floor and quadrant of the mall it was in, and then showed me on diagrams how to get there. I memorized "walk toward Macy's, go downstairs, turn the corner at Macy's, and Lego is in the middle of the corridor on the left." Slowly we found our way there.

The Mall was crowded, but not nearly as bad as the State Fair had been, and at least half the people seemed to be wearing masks, so it was possible to mostly maintain our distance from others. We admired the Legos, then kept walking until we came to the Aquarium. We could see down into the lobby there, where there were tanks of rays and other touch-tanks for kids. The price for the Aquarium was pretty high, though, so we decided to pass on it.

Meanwhile, I decided I was thirsty. There were lots of places to get food, drinks, candy, ice cream, cinnamon buns, cupcakes, and all the other stuff they sell in malls. But when I saw a Dunkin Donuts, I decided that an iced coffee would satisfy both my thirst and my sweet tooth. So I used my Dunkin app to order, and watched through the window until the screen said that my number had been served. (I would have had to wait in a line if I hadn't used the app.) I walked in and took my coffee and left, thus bypassing the people in the small store. We sat on a bench facing the center "courtyard" and watched the people and the amusement park rides for a while as I drank my coffee.

In the end, this pretty much summed up our Mall visit. We did buy a couple of things-- Joe got some sugar-free candy, and I fell prey to the Lindt store, where the display of Lindor truffles just could not be ignored. (I told the salesgirl, "I want to dive into your display and swim through it with my mouth open!" They were pushing boxes with 100 truffles--fill it myself with any of their flavors, many of which I had not been familiar with before. But conscious of my attempt to lose weight, in the end I bought only about a dozen Lindor balls to take home. I also picked up some face cream which I needed, and stopped on a whim at the Vera Bradley store, where they happened to have my favorite style wallet at 40% off. Since the one I have is threadbare, I decided I could splurge on a new one at that price.
And that was it! We left the Mall when Joe decided he'd had enough. I could have shopped a few stores having Labor Day and End of Season sales, but truth is, not only do I not need a thing, but my RV is already full of too many clothes that I overpacked.

 So: the Mall of America is quite an astonishing testimony to American consumerism, mindless entertainment, and junk food. But it was certainly worth seeing at least once.